By: Patricia Francis Good     

When my husband Skip died, I knew what I had to do to honor his wishes. He hated funeral homes and told me if I ever let people see him in a coffin, he would probably come back to haunt me. So instead, I decided to take his cremated remains to the one place he was always happy, relaxed and at peace… Saint John in the U.S. Virgin Islands.

For over 20 years, Skip & I would travel to St. John with friends and family as our house guests. We leased many homes but our favorite one was the first house we ever leased in Coral Bay, which is on the rural, windward side of the island facing the British Virgin Islands. Back in San Antonio after a stay at the Westin in Cruz Bay, I called our favorite bar The Shipwreck, and asked how we could lease a vacation home in Coral Bay. The bartender said there was only one person on that side of St. John for the job. Her name was Karen Baranowski with Windspree Vacation Homes. The first thing I said to Karen was we wanted a home with a view of the ocean. She replied that she had a home called “LOVE VIEW”. It had a 180 degree view of the ocean! And
so for 10 years Love View was our island home for two weeks out of the year. We rented other villas after that, but our fondest memories were always of LOVE VIEW.

So by December of 2023 it was time to make arrangements to take Skip’s remains on a final trip back to our island home. I contracted with a boat charter company and asked if we could sail out to Little Lameshur Bay, our favorite place to snorkel. Leaving his remains there seemed to me to be what Skip would want. I remember so many
memorable days snorkeling in that bay. There was a picnic table on the beach where we would bring our lunch. There we would sit after a swim; eating our lunch and watching the pelicans dive into the clear blue sea for their lunch. To me it was the perfect spot to leave Skip’s remains.

But, the boat charter company said that would not work because of the 2 mile limit for dropping off human remains and the choppy waters were difficult to navigate under certain weather conditions. I thought as long as his ashes were in the water anywhere off the coast of St. John, they would probably make their way to his favorite spot.
Next, I invited nine people to join me on the trip…two of Skip’s nieces, Kelly & Tracy, Skip’s great nephew Eric and his soon to be wife, Hailey Rae, my sister Pam and her husband Jerry, my sister Janet and brother John, and a friend named Diane who was also related through Pam’s son Nicky’s marriage to her daughter. Of course I called Karen at Windspree to find a home big enough for all of us. She had the perfect house – Casa De Suenos which translates in English to “House of Dreams”. I booked the villa from December 29, 2023 until January 07, 2024.

In preparation for the trip, my sister Janet and I decided that it would be easier to cook at the villa rather than take everyone out to eat every night. It was the high season in St. John and it would be costly for all my guests. So, we developed a menu for each day. I bought almost all the groceries we would need to feed 10 people for 10 days in paradise. I shipped two large boxes to Karen at Windspree to deliver to the villa. When the boxes arrived, Karen called to say that one box looked good but the second box was pretty beat up and light! Each box weighed about 50 pounds so I was worried about the second box. After arriving at the villa and opening the two boxes, the first box had everything that I had packed in it. But, upon opening the second box I found only one item that I had packed which was a pizza pan and a new item that I had not packed … a brown dress! Ha! I didn’t own a brown dress and we were all very confused how it got there and what happened to the rest of the packed items!

However, we had a lot of fun with that dress! Everyone tried it on and I made this composite photo of an array of poses that my guests took to individualize their photo in the dress. My brother-in-law, Jerry Benson, rocked the dress! And everyone else did too!!

On January 3rd of 2024 at 1:30 in the afternoon we set sail with Skip’s biodegradable urn onboard the ship. Karen joined us. The Captain explained that whatever I wanted to do was just fine. I decided to ask if we could go to Skip’s favorite place – Little
Lameshur Bay. The Captain thought the weather conditions were favorable for sailing there on this day. Knowing I had Skip’s urn for the purpose of leaving his ashes in Little Lameshur Bay, the Captain agreed to accommodate my wishes. So off we went on that beautiful, sunny day sailing on the clear blue Caribbean Sea to leave Skip’s ashes in the place he loved the most.

As the boat slowed down to hook up to a mooring, I asked everyone to put their hands on the urn and say their final goodbyes to Skip. Each person onboard said what was on their heart. It was deeply touching and emotional for me to hear their words. I had invited Karen to join us that day and her remarks are some of the most memorable. She said all she ever knew of Skip was how peaceful and happy he was when he was on the island. That was the way she would remember him. And that was the reason I brought him back here to his favorite place on earth.

My sister Pam got into the water and after saying my own goodbye, I handed her the urn with Skip’s last remains. She carefully lowered it into the crystal clear aqua blue water and as it landed on the ocean floor, it opened like a flower. Eric dove to the bottom to check it out and when he came up he reported that Skip’s ashes were in a plastic bag and wondered if I wanted him to set Skip free. I had forgotten to take the bag and empty it into the urn! So I told Eric to please set Skip free! He dove back down, picked up the urn, opened the bag and then made a full circle with Skip’s ashes spreading them into the water around Eric. It was a such a thoughtful thing for him to do. When Eric came up, he thanked me for letting him be the last one to say goodbye.

What happened next surprised us all.
A spotted eagle ray approached from a distance from the boat. The water was crystal clear so we could see the ray approach the place where the urn laid on the ocean floor. As soon as the ray swam over the urn he turned upward and shot out of the water. He sprang up quickly and at his highest point turned downward and returned back to enter the water above the urn. It all happened so fast. We were all so stunned that none of us took a photo. It was magnificent thing to see that incredible sea creature with his six foot wing span emerge from the sea in all its glory and as if Skip was making his final
bow, returned to the sea with a great big splash. We were dumb-founded. Everyone on board yelled out “THAT WAS SKIP”.

The ship captain admitted that had never happened before. The spotted eagle rays usually travel in a group and when they glide out of the water they make an arc over the water, never straight up and down like the eagle ray did on this day.

For a final goodbye, Skip sure did leave a great impression for all of us to remember. His spirit took on the animal spirit of that beautiful spotted eagle ray that day. Nobody can convince me that he didn’t. And if you knew Skip you would agree that this was his way to say his final goodbye…joyfully and dramatically from the sea that he loved.

I framed and hung this composite photo in my study at home. I laugh every time I enter that room and see it. I know Skip would too!

SKIP’S MEAT LOAF

INGREDIENTS

• 2 eggs
• 3/4 cup milk
• 1/2 cup fine dry bread crumbs
• 1/4 cup finely chopped onion
• 2 tablespoons snipped parsley
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground sage
• 1&1/2 pounds ground beef
• 1/4 cup catsup
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon dry mustard

INSTRUCTIONS

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
• Combine eggs and milk; stir in crumbs, onion, parsley, salt, sage, and 1/8 teaspoon pepper. Add beef; mix well.
• Pat into a 5 1/2-cup ring mold; unmold in a shallow baking pan.
• Bake in a 350 degree oven for 50 minutes. (Or, pat mixture into an 8x4x2-inch loaf pan; bake for 1 1/4 hours.)
• Spoon off excess fat.
• Combine catsup, sugar, and mustard; spread over meat.
• Return to oven for 10 minutes.

Makes 6 servings.

INSPIRATION: