By: Patricia Francis Good     

I have lived long enough to know that being sick isn’t funny.  And keeping my sense of humor while in pain is a real challenge, to say the least.  But, the greatest lessons of my life were not learned when times were “good”.  And, I have been given lots of opportunities through “hard” times to learn a few choice lessons through laughter. Here are four of my stories:

There was a time that doctors told me that I didn’t have much time left on this earth.  Well, the joke is on them.  At 22 years old I had melanoma cancer and was given six months to live.  I have now outlived that prognosis by several decades. But during that time, I have also been diagnosed with a cancerous tumor, Meniere’s disease, rheumatoid arthritis that has required a few joint replacements, and broken bones. Not funny, right? Well, the truth is most of those times I suffered terribly. But, it wasn’t without some humor. There are some stories that stand out in my mind as particularly memorable.

First Story: Once, on a beautiful autumn day a few years back, my husband and I went for a hike in a nature park. We climbed the rocky hills and pulled ourselves up on ropes near the top.  I was feeling great until we began the climb down. I slipped on the rocks and fell the rest of the way, breaking my left leg and tearing all the tendons away from my left ankle bones. As I lay on the ground, my husband reached me and said, “Why don’t you try and stand up?” I, of course, responded that I was sure that I had broken my leg because I had heard it crack.  He replied it was probably just a “twig”.  I said, “No, I don’t think a twig could hurt me this bad!” So, my husband told me to just stay where I was, and he would go get help.

Now, lying on the ground with a broken leg next to the walking trail, I became acutely aware of other hikers.  I was surprised to see that many of them walked by without saying a word.  But the people who did were surprisingly funny in a weird kind of way.  The first man who stopped offered me his walking stick.  I was grateful, but told him that I didn’t think I would be walking out of the park that day.  He insisted that I take his stick.  I was in such pain that I just wanted him to leave me alone and finally agreed to take it.  Later, he came back to say that he was leaving the park and he needed his stick back.  Really?  Then, a man and his two little girls offered assistance.  I explained to the man that my husband had gone for help and would be back shortly.  One of his little girls, anxiously pulling on her daddy’s jacket said, “Can we go now, Daddy? I’m afraid of the snakes.” Oh, thank you for mentioning THAT… I’m stuck on the ground and afraid of SNAKES!

Hearing an ambulance siren from the valley below, I knew that my husband had come to my rescue.  But, because we were so high up the hill, the ambulance couldn’t reach me.  They found a garbage truck that could make the hill and two paramedics and my husband loaded up in that garbage truck.

They had wrapped my leg carefully in bubble wrap before they laid me down in the back of the truck.  The paramedics told my husband to ride with me in the back.  When he jumped in he landed on my broken leg.  That was the first time I knew what a primal scream was all about!  Oh, wow, did that hurt!  We arrived at the base of the hill, and the paramedics lifted me into the ambulance.  My husband had to stay behind to make out the accident report and away I went to the hospital.

Checking into the hospital I had to fill out all the paperwork.  One of the questions asked was about my husband’s occupation.  Oh dear, my husband is a lawyer and doctors, on the whole, don’t necessarily like lawyers!  Hesitantly, I filled out the answer. After a long wait, they wheeled me into the exam room.  The doctor came in looking at my chart and said, “Well, well, well, I see here you’re married to a lawyer!  We don’t give crutches to wives of lawyers; we make them crawl out!” Very funny, Doc! After doing his assessment, he determined that he would have to “set” my broken leg.  The doctor then asked the staff if I had been given any pain medication.  The answer was clearly “no”.  But, there was no time for that.  Before he started to set my broken leg, I pleaded with all of them to first tell me a funny joke.  When no one could think of one, the doctor told me he had a joke, but it wasn’t clean.  I said, at this point if he didn’t have a bullet for me to bite on while he set my broken leg, then a joke would have to do!  He told the joke. I laughed and then he set my leg and I heard that primal scream come out of my mouth again for the second time that day!  

Well, you would think that was the end of this story.  Oh, noooo … there’s more! Setting the leg wasn’t enough.  I had to have surgery the next day on my ankle.  In an effort to get me into the car from the house, my husband decided the easiest way possible was to wheel me backwards in my wheelchair, down the front walkway.  The only problem was the 15 steps.  As he moved the wheelchair over the first step, the leg brace that was holding up my broken leg, LET GO!  I was screaming bloody murder as my broken leg hit every step. But my husband didn’t understand what had happened. He replied “I’m going as fast as I can!” At the end of the walkway, he realized what happened and apologized. Too late! I made him promise to find someone else who knew how to operate a wheelchair to pick me up from the hospital after surgery! He agreed.

Lessons Learned: When in pain, always ask someone to tell you a joke. Laughter IS the best medicine. And, if someone offers to help, it might not be in your best interest to accept…Explore other possibilities and then be sure to laugh at yourself, whatever the outcome!

Here is the second story. Before I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, I went through 11 doctors who could not determine what was wrong with me. All they could do was increase my dose of Hydrocodone. I was in a lot of pain and felt like my life was just slipping away. My sister, Kathy would take me for a treat of Orange Leaf frozen Yogurt after doctor visits. During an especially painful nerve study, she told me to yell out “Orange Leaf” every time a needle touched a nerve.

That would remind me that after the appointment, I had a treat coming! So, after yelling out “Orange Leaf” about 5 or 6 times, the doctor stopped the testing.  He said, “I have heard a lot of things that people yell out during this test, but never ‘Orange Leaf’”.  The doctor wanted to know why. I told him.  He laughed and said that he would write a prescription for orange leaf frozen yogurt and give it to my sister, Kathy to have filled immediately! I framed it. Pretty funny.

Third story: At one point, I was told I needed to have a biopsy done on a skin lesion that I had developed.  Hoping this test would give us the answers to what was really wrong with me, I was anxious to have it done.  But before I went to the dermatologist, I had called my hairdresser to see if she could come to the house and cut my hair. She was out of town, so the shop sent a young hairdresser. As she was cutting my hair, I told her the whole story about my health and that I was having a “biopsy” that afternoon that might determine what was wrong.  She was very attentive and sweet. As she started to leave my house, she turned back to me and said, “Mrs. Good, if you get the results from your “autopsy”, will you call and let us know?”  I said, “Honey, if I get my own autopsy, I will be sure to call you!” That afternoon my neighbor drove me to the appointment. She had to pull off the side of the road laughing when I told her the mistake the young girl had made in calling my “biopsy” an “autopsy”.  Later, a professor friend of mine asked if she could tell her students my story to teach them the importance of using the correct word. By the way, the biopsy was negative and yes, I did call the shop to give them the results!

Fourth and final Story: Eventually, because of my failing health, I was unable to perform the duties of the job that I loved. One of the hardest things I ever did was turn in my resignation letter to the Executive Director of the San Antonio Humane Society. Nancy was my boss and my dear friend, and continues to this day to be the friend that always has my back. I became home-bound and addicted to Hydrocodone before I knew it.  My primary physician was out of the country at the time.  Even though I am a woman of faith, I was scared.  I had lost the use of my right arm, light and sound were hard to take, I was in pain, and my eyes kept clicking back and forth so that I couldn’t make eye contact with anybody. I felt helpless and sliding down into a dangerous physical state. One day, my husband said that our primary physician was finally returning from his trip abroad. But, he couldn’t see me until the following week.  As I was laying there holding my sister Kathy’s hand, I told her I didn’t think I could make it that long.  She said, “When you feel like you’re at the end of your rope, you just hang onto me. I’ll be the knot at the end of your rope.” We were both crying.  I said, “But, Kathy if I hang onto you as the knot at the end of my rope, that would make you my knotty “naughty” sister!  That’s when we began to laugh again.  

Finally, the day of the appointment arrived, and my husband brought me to see our primary care doctor.  Normally, he & I joked and had a lot of fun at office visits.

But we weren’t joking around this time. He knew that I needed help and immediately called the best Rheumatology Specialist in San Antonio, Dr. Moorjani, who finally diagnosed me correctly with a rare form of rheumatoid arthritis.  

Soon after the diagnosis, treatment started and I began the long journey back to health. Not only was the treatment effective, but I found acupuncture to replace the need for narcotics when the pain required more than the usual treatment.  I have also found walking, yoga, tai chi, and playing ping pong and golf very helpful & fun! Those activities keep me moving forward.  I have the remarkable support from Dr. Moorjani, who continues to be my excellent “partner” in my healthcare today. My husband Skip has since passed away, but I still have lots of family and friends including my sister, Kathy and my dear friend, Nancy who continue to sustain me with their love. I am fully functional again – happy & healthy!

So, in conclusion, always look for funny things that happen in life, even in your darkest moments! Hold on to funny memories to offset the painful ones.  Laughter is a great equalizer! And most importantly, find someone to be the knot at the end of your rope or a friend who has your back – they can make anything bearable!!!

The “KNOT” at the end of my rope, Kathy and my dear friend, Nancy, who always has my back.

Garlic Knots

Prep Time: 35 minutes; Cook Time: 20 minutes 

Rising Time: 1hour 30 minutes; Total Time: 2 hours 25 minutes 

Servings: 24 garlic knots

Ingredients:

Garlic Knot Dough:

• 1 ½ cups warm water 110-115° F
• 2 ¼ teaspoons instant yeast or active dry yeast
• 1 teaspoon granulated sugar
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 4 cups all-purpose flour plus more as needed

Garlic Butter Topping:

• 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
• 3 cloves fresh garlic, minced or ½ teaspoon garlic powder
• ⅛ teaspoon salt
• grated Parmesan cheese and/or chopped fresh parsley optional

Make the Dough

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer (or in a large bowl if you plan to make the dough by hand), combine the warm water, yeast and granulated sugar. Whisk together. Let rest for 5-10 minutes, until the yeast begins to foam or bubble.
2. Add the olive oil, salt and 4 cups of flour to the bowl. Mix with the paddle attachment on low speed until combined.
3. Switch to the dough hook and knead the dough on low speed for about 8 minutes, until it mostly comes away from the sides of the bowl and is slightly sticky when you press it with your finger. If the dough is very sticky, you can add up to ¼ cup more flour, a little bit at a time, during the kneading step. Try to avoid adding too much flour, as this will make the rolls tougher. Sticky dough produces softer garlic knots.
4. Transfer the dough to a large lightly oiled bowl and turn the ball of dough once to coat it in oil. Cover the bowl with a clean kitchen towel or plastic wrap and let the dough rise for 1 to 1 ½ hours, until doubled in size.

Shape the Garlic Knots

1. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper.
2. Transfer the dough to a clean, lightly floured work surface. Press down on the dough to remove air bubbles.
3. To make 24 garlic knots, first cut the dough into 3 equal pieces. Then cut each of the 3 pieces into 8 equal pieces by cutting it first in half, then cut each half in half, and finally cut each piece in half once more. You should end up with 24 roughly equal pieces of dough.
4. Working with one piece of dough at a time, shape each piece of dough into a ball. Then, working on a very lightly floured work surface, roll each dough ball into an 8-inch long rope. Tie each rope into a knot. If desired, tuck the ends of the knot underneath the knot. Place the knots on the prepared baking sheets, evenly spaced.
5. Lightly cover the rolls with clean kitchen towels or plastic wrap. Let rise on the baking sheets for 30-45 minutes.
6. During the last 15 minutes of rise time, preheat the oven to 400° F.

Bake Garlic Knots

1. Bake the rolls for 17-22 minutes, until they are lightly golden on top. Rotate the baking pans top to bottom and front to back halfway through the baking time to ensure that the rolls bake evenly.
2. If you reserved some of the butter mixture, brush it on when the warm rolls come out of the oven. Sprinkle with grated Parmesan cheese and chopped fresh parsley, if desired. Serve garlic knots plain or with marinara sauce for dipping.

Notes

• To speed up the dough rise steps, you can let the dough rise in a warm oven. Turn the oven on for 30-45 seconds, then turn it off and place the covered bowl of dough in the warm oven.
• You can reserve some of the garlic butter mixture to brush on the rolls after baking, if desired. This will make the topping flavor more intense. 
• This recipe makes 24 small garlic knots. If you prefer your knots larger, you can cut the dough into 16 or 18 pieces instead.
• Baked garlic knots can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 2 days or in the freezer for up to 3 months. 

INSPIRATION:

A “human anchor” is a figurative term for a person who provides stability, strength, and support to another person, acting as a reliable constant in uncertain times; much like a ship’s anchor keeps it from drifting. This person is a source of guidance, security, and emotional grounding, playing a key role in helping someone navigate challenges and make decisions consistent with their values. 

Key characteristics of a human anchor:

• Provides stability: Like a ship’s anchor, this person keeps you steady and prevents you from being swept away by life’s uncertainties. 

• Offers support and strength: They are a source of encouragement and help you through difficult situations.

•  Is a source of confidence: They provide a sense of security and belief in you. 

• Acts as a guide: They offer guidance and perspective during times of confusion or trouble.

•  Grounds you: They help you stay connected to your core values and sense of self.